Brutal

Day 7 (Friday) started with a crunch when I found a large portion of human tooth in my muesli at the Ibis Hotel in Bristol; I was about to register a complaint when I realised that the human concerned was me. Cycling is great for the legs and general toning, but all those sport drinks and chocolate are very bad for teeth; unless of course you’re a dentist. The cycling was brutal today (Friday). For the whole Jogle we’ve tried to get ahead of schedule, so that the last day wouldn’t be too bad. Today was the day we figured we would pay for that; we knew it would be a “tarmac day” (i.e.) head down, get on with it and to hell with the scenery. And so it proved. It’s been the hottest day of the year and our 117 mile journey from Bristol to Launceston started with hills, finished with hills and had a lot of hills in the middle. We must have gone up and over 40 or 50 hills of a few hundred feet in height, which normally wouldn’t bother us much, but when they gang up on you in fives and tens you’re in a spot of bother. We found our way out of Bristol, flew along the A38 to Taunton and finally arrived at a beautiful pub in Crediton (70 miles) at five to three desperate for something to eat only to find that the kitchen had shut and so we ate a snickers, a packet of crisps and a pint of beer to keep us going to Launceston. On the way Stu stopped to speak to an MG owner who told us the route was pretty flat to Launceston. We’re planning to go back and batter him on the way home and probably steal his car too; the lying get; coming out of Crediton the road just went up and up and up; and the temperature seemed to soar with us. In the end we must have taken a wrong turning because we ended up doing a complete circumnavigation of Okehampton which seems to be surrounded by hills; it was however absolutely beautiful and almost a pleasure to have come through it unscathed. On the way I was able to engage in some way with the local wildlife and am able to disprove two widely held theories re badgers. Firstly they are not rare and secondly the do not carry TB. I have seen many badgers today, they are round and flat and the size of a small dining table; they normally have a tyre mark down the middle and, frankly speaking, none of the ones I saw looked capable of carrying anything very far. Also on the animal front, I saw one of the strangest things ever in a field outside Crediton; a blindfolded horse. The blindfold covered it’s nose, eyes and had two pointy bits at the top for the ears. The poor thing looked like a member of the equine Ku Klux Klan, but on reflection I decided that it was waiting to be executed for desertion or cowardice; I waited for the firing squad (no doubt made up of 3 sheep good and true) but I expect they must have been on their lunch, because I waited ten minutes and they still hadn’t turned up. The last challenge of the day was a 20 mile stretch on the horrendous A30, motorway in all but name, and most of it was spent on the hard shoulder being buffeted by lorries and holiday makers. It’s a nightmare, but it’s quick and I’ve got a feeling we’ve got another 70 miles on it tomorrow; planning on a 7am start to get as far down as possible before the mad holiday makers come out to play. Quote of the day comes from Stu, who looked at my grime streaked face and panda eyes and suggested that I looked as if I spent the whole day flying a blooming tiger moth (those who know Stu will gather I’m paraphrasing here). Both man and machine are starting to show the strains of the journey, the bikes are filthy and both chains are starting to come off with annoying regularity; my left knee is killing me, I’m riding on the top of my thigh bones where my bum used to be and Stu is going to have to have reconstructive surgery on his Erskine. Nevertheless, tomorrow is the last day and I expect the adrenalin will get us through to the finish. Sunday on the beach!!!